Sunflower Diaries

My health journey – wellness, fashion, health and more.

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about

Those who know me best, know how difficult it can be for me to speak up! So here goes: Hi, I am Joy. I decided to write this blog to raise awareness of living with chronic pain and how to keep upbeat in even the darkest/ loneliest days. I am a mother to one wonderful daughter and a wife to my very supportive husband. I met my husband during our PhD journey (story for another blog/ reflections I am sure). I knew from the moment I met him that it was true love. Our research and personal interests aligned well which made it easier to communicate and grow together. My love for him has grown stronger every day and more so since our daughter was born. He is an inspiration to fathers. We knew we wanted a small family one day but did not realise the issues I had as a young woman/ teenager would impact our fertility journey and lives to the extent it now has. So, I am 1 in 10%. I have endometriosis. There is no cure. But to add complications I also had adenomyosis (more about this below as I document my health journey). I have chosen the name sunflower diaries for my blog to symbolise #endometriosis. The sunflower is synonymous with growth, vitality and positive energy. I also love #sunflowers. I am an #endometriosiswarrior and an #adenomyosiswarrior💜. Let’s raise awareness and compassion for all women afflicted by these diseases. The struggles are real but I hope to bring you some #NewJoy by sharing my story. I challenge you to think of what makes you happy in life and keep being #strongwomen especially if you have entered a transition phase of your life. This is even more important as I watch my own daughter grow up and hope she does not suffer the same issues I faced. In summary, #believeinyourself❤️ #loveyourbody and #bekind 🤗😊❤️‍🩹 If you like this blog, please read and share. http://sunflowerdiaries.blog

  • Fun in the sun

    The song 🎶 “Summer Loving” (Grease) springs to mind this weekend…

    Although still recovering, ❤️‍🩹 I have managed to play with our daughter this weekend in the garden. That is a bonus and memories to be thankful for. Helped with drinking lots of water and rest in available shade.

    It’s hot in Scotland… unusual weather… and short lived, but this is the reality of climate change. It meant we could inflate the paddling pool and use it for a little while. My daughter loved splashing in the tepid water. No need to heat up as the sun ☀️ did that for us. Summers are hotter now than when I was a child. You tended to need a few kettles of warmer water to avoid going into shock… (not quite). Although our summers were hot in the 90s and 2000s 🔥 they were not as hot as they have been recently. This is only expected to increase over time.

    Click to access 2025-climate-projections-report.pdf

    Hours of fun in the sun. The best bit was we got it reduced in the spring sale at our local Argos. Today… we would not have got a bargain/ a pool. Glad we snapped up the deal and she loved it so much. Makes me happy when she smiles and plays.

    I decided to make the most of the summer sun (too) and dress in my vintage inspired Ice Cream and sprinkles dress 👗 by Little Wings Factory (unfortunately no longer selling beautiful dresses). I do not get to wear it often. It’s special because my daughter chose it. I probably would not have chosen it myself, but it’s fun and cute 🥰. You only live once so why not wear fun things every now and then- helps support my recovery too.

    Her amazing paddling pool birthday gift.Pool did not need much water 💦 and quick to fill.
    Water was then drained to water the grass, and she used her watering can. Great 😊 fun.
    Ladybug 🐞 visited the pool.
    Every little girl’s dream. Unicorn 🦄 rainbows 🌈 and a slide 🛝
    Matching the pool – #Little Wings Vintage style dress

    Tomorrow‘s storm looming – time to bring the washing in.

  • Eggs or Macaroni

    Which food, when you eat it, instantly transports you to childhood?

    Scrambled, boiled, omelettes or poached. I was never a fan of fried egg. A bit greasy for my tummy. Even as an adult I pass on most fried foods.

    I still love a good lunch of boiled, poached, or scrambled eggs and toast (with some avocado or olives on the side)

    Macaroni Cheese. My mother made the best macaroni and cheese (white sauce was amazing, and even adaptable to a free from diet).

    The smell and taste of macaroni and cheese transports me back to childhood.

  • Japan

    What countries do you want to visit?

    My husband has always dreamed of going to Japan (as have I). I promised him when we married that one day I would make his dream come true. Just like he had fulfilled mine – countryside living (semi urban), a beautiful garden and family.

    I grew up in a small village and loved the cherry blossom tree which grew outside my mother’s home. I always watched it with wonder and loved the beauty of the pink petals which scattered each May. I was saddened when the tree was removed.

    I learned about Japan at primary school and was fascinated with the food, culture, nature, and environment.

    I had my first experience with origami and later in life decided to try it again. As frustrating as the folds can be, it is great for a mindful activity and to embrace the present moment.

  • It’s a rainy sunny day…Rainbow rainbow…🌈

    As much as I dislike watching Peppa Pig on repeat, there is one song which I like and my daughter adores.

    Peppa Pig – credit to WordPress

    Mummy play “rainbow rainbow” on your phone please. She also loves splashing in muddy puddles much like the Peppa character does.

    The lyrics are quite lovely and contagious :

    “A rainbow!

    It’s got all our favorite colors in it

    Red, and orange, and green, and blue

    It’s a rainy, sunny day

    The rainbow’s here to play

    Rainbow, rainbow

    Red, and orange, and yellow, and green, and purple, and blue

    And indigo, too

    Rainbow, rainbow

    It’s a rainy, sunny day …”

    My daughter like most young children loves rainbows. I keep saying they remind me of granny and it’s her way of watching over us. She loves this. Sadly, she doesn’t fully understand (as she asks for granny on face time, no sadly granny cannot face time from heaven…. If only) but likes seeing photographs and asking about our lives with granny. Seeing photos of mummy and daddy’s wedding day makes her smile – our photographer even managed to snap one of a rainbow over Loch Lomond. 

    This rainbow was fading by the time I grabbed photographer’s attention 🌈

    Rainbows come and go,

    unlike our love will never fade, and I cherish the memories we have made.

    Rainbows are amazing phenomena- I explained the science behind them (as she was getting upset as each one passed). She was happy that more would appear and we then saw a double bow that evening before bed. She was very excited.

    She marvels at the beautiful colours. Who doesn’t love a rainbow, synonymous with hope, joy, promise. Her little heart lightens and cheers her up as she was feeling sad about mummy being sick (again).

    She often makes me pictures and cards (to cheer mummy up) with the rainbow in colour order, usually. She is developing into a talented little artist/ very clever little girl.

    She is full of positivity and embraces all life throws at her. I guess that’s my reminder for today that life is colourful and beautiful, and should be celebrated.

    My miracle reminds me of this every day- gracing most days with love, smiles and hugs. She gave me four hugs on the way to her grandparents this morning. Just happy mummy was able to help her get ready for the first time in weeks. I was delighted to help her style her hair with her choice of bows and clasps… I then had my antibiotics and went back to sleep. 

    I woke up able to have a shower and prepare a hearty lunch of eggs, avocado 🥑 and toast. Followed by a small snack. First day of proper food since the weekend.

    #celebratethesmallwins

    I am an #endometriosiswarrior and an #adenomyosiswarrior💜. 

    Let’s raise awareness and compassion for all women afflicted by these diseases. The struggles are real but I hope to bring you some #NewJoy by sharing my story. I challenge you to think of what makes you happy in life and keep being #strongwomen especially if you have entered a transition phase of your life. This is even more important as I watch my own daughter grow up and hope she does not suffer the same issues I faced. 

    In summary, 

    #believeinyourself❤️  #loveyourbody and #bekind 🤗😊❤️‍🩹 .

    Take care of yourself. 🌻

    If you like this blog, please read and share, or follow me on Instagram – Joy_Kean86

  • Post operative complications

    Risks of surgery

    Some of the main risks:

    Bleeding 🩸

    Clots – advice I was given is wear your stockings day and night until your mobility improves. After surgery, it feels like Bambi learning to walk. Your legs will unlikely be stable for a few weeks. Be patient and don’t push yourself.

    Bambi learning to walk.

    Pain / discomfort at surgical site and muscle (managed with pain relief)

    Wound infection.

    Low or high blood pressure.

    Post operative infections or viruses 🦠

    Toilet troubles.

    Nausea and vomiting – bland diet – bananas are great. I found Nairns GF oatcakes and crackers helpful for my mid afternoon nausea.

    Mental health – anxiety issues. Meditation and gratitude practices help me here.

    If something doesn’t seem right speak to a medical professional as soon as possible.

    Latest Operation:

    I felt very run down and thought I was battling a cold virus. I live with a four year old and it seemed a fair assessment.

    Unfortunately it was taking a long time to clear (cough worsened, exhaustion). I was out for a short walk on Friday and was stopped in my tracks… severe abdominal pain. I thought 💭 go home and rest and I will recover. As I had possibly done too much (listening to my body) and needed some rest.

    I rested all day Saturday and slept more than 12 hours at night. I woke up the next day feeling worse. I had crushing pain in my chest which when I coughed or walked upstairs worsened (and could not cough without choking),

    As the day went on the pain worsened, and I was unable to walk without it catching my breath. The chest pain was non relenting. I was advised to phone out of hours and was given an emergency appointment.

    I was lucky to get an out of hours appointment with the local hospital within a matter of hours, and given a strong course of antibiotics (so I could rest at home), but had I waited until the next day I would likely have been admitted to hospital for observation.

    If you can’t move (extreme fatigue) or feel your recovery has stopped (at nearly four weeks post operation) then you need to consult a medical professional. Even if you have had a positive week/ feel on the road to recovery, things can change. Be gentle and patient with yourself.

    Don’t bank on “it will pass”, it might not. I guess we sometimes think about waiting until it passes because we are told our symptoms are not severe or serious. Especially when faced with chronic health conditions. We are expected to manage it/ normalise the pain.

    The truth is only you know your body.

    I am an #endometriosiswarrior and an #adenomyosiswarrior💜. 

    Let’s raise awareness and compassion for all women afflicted by these diseases. The struggles are real but I hope to bring you some #NewJoy by sharing my story. I challenge you to think of what makes you happy in life and keep being #strongwomen especially if you have entered a transition phase of your life. This is even more important as I watch my own daughter grow up and hope she does not suffer the same issues I faced. 

    In summary, 

    #believeinyourself❤️  #loveyourbody and #bekind 🤗😊❤️‍🩹 

    If you like this blog, please read and share or follow me on Instagram – Joy-Kean86.

  • Resilience

    What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

    Resilience.

    Had many difficult spells in my life. It has never fully broken me. It has made me more determined and a stronger person overall.

    What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and I like this quote on resilience, as it sums my health struggles up perfectly:

     “My scars remind me that I did indeed survive my deepest wounds. That in itself is an accomplishment. And they bring to mind something else, too. They remind me that the damage life has inflicted on me has, in many places, left me stronger and more resilient. What hurt me in the past has actually made me better equipped to face the present.” — Steve Goodier

     

    I was recently told by the nurse on the recovery ward – please don’t stop being optimistic. You have been through a lot recently and I am surprised you are so upbeat. I think it was part of the realisation that I could move on from this.

    My failing is sometimes having too much faith in others, I know that those by my side today will never leave me and always being supported is an important part of physical and mental recovery. ❤️‍🩹

    #youhavethis #endometriosiswarrier #adenomyosiswarrier #resilience

  • Welcome little one

    Dedicated to my newborn nephew.

    I love the thought of being an auntie again. I remember the first time (I was doing my PhD) and mum phoned me to tell me the news and I cried so much and then immediately looked for cute baby girl outfits.

    This poem is filed with love and happiness.

    Best news I’ve had this year.

    Had a tough year but hopefully a sign of change. #welcomelittleone #positivevibes.

  • Brain

    What’s the oldest thing you own that you still use daily?

    Although sometimes with brain fog and chronic fatigue, I even question this.

    Hopefully after recovery and HRT this will improve. Steps towards recovery.

  • My Love

    Love- Maths and an engineer is all you need.

  • Favourite Moments…

    Describe one of your favorite moments.

    There are too many to choose from.

    I guess recently it has been the peace and calmness from daily gratitude and meditation practices. This has helped make recovery a little easier and allows me to focus on the happy moments rather than dwell on my health issues / past experiences too much.

    I guess just embrace what we have now.

    Not thinking of tomorrow or what could have been. Sit with a nice cup of tea and focus on what you’re thankful for.