Those who know me best, know how difficult it can be for me to speak up! So here goes:
Hi, I am Joy. I decided to write this blog to raise awareness of living with chronic pain and how to keep upbeat in even the darkest/ loneliest days.
I am a mother to one wonderful daughter and a wife to my very supportive husband. I met my husband during our PhD journey (story for another blog/ reflections I am sure). I knew from the moment I met him that it was true love. Our research and personal interests aligned well which made it easier to communicate and grow together.
My love for him has grown stronger every day and more so since our daughter was born. He is an inspiration to fathers.
We knew we wanted a small family one day but did not realise the issues I had as a young woman/ teenager would impact our fertility journey and lives to the extent it now has.
So, I am 1 in 10%. I have endometriosis. There is no cure.
But to add complications I also had adenomyosis (more about this below as I document my health journey).
I have chosen the name sunflower diaries for my blog to symbolise #endometriosis. The sunflower is synonymous with growth, vitality and positive energy. I also love #sunflowers.
I am an #endometriosiswarrior and an #adenomyosiswarrior💜.
Let’s raise awareness and compassion for all women afflicted by these diseases. The struggles are real but I hope to bring you some #NewJoy by sharing my story. I challenge you to think of what makes you happy in life and keep being #strongwomen especially if you have entered a transition phase of your life. This is even more important as I watch my own daughter grow up and hope she does not suffer the same issues I faced.
In summary,
#believeinyourself❤️ #loveyourbody and #bekind 🤗😊❤️🩹
If you like this blog, please read and share.
http://sunflowerdiaries.blog
Volunteered to be part of this campaign for Michelle (@m_m_endometriosis) to raise awareness about endometriosis and adenomyosis. I also had a lot of time to reflect while healing and recovering from surgery.
My journey has been difficult but I am grateful to everyone who has supported me through the agony.
It feels so liberating to write this letter.
It was the most difficult decision to share this but I am glad I stepped up. I hope this inspires the next generation to speak up.
Please be kind and if you like my post- follow me on Instagram- Joy_Kean86.
I am an #endometriosiswarrior and an #adenomyosiswarrior💜.
Let’s raise awareness and compassion for all women afflicted by these diseases. The struggles are real but I hope to bring you some #NewJoy by sharing my story. I challenge you to think of what makes you happy in life and keep being #strongwomen especially if you have entered a transition phase of your life. This is even more important as I watch my own daughter grow up and hope she does not suffer the same issues I faced.
In summary,
#believeinyourself❤️ #loveyourbody and #bekind 🤗😊❤️🩹
I am an #endometriosiswarrior and an #adenomyosiswarrior💜.
Let’s raise awareness and compassion for all women afflicted by these diseases. The struggles are real but I hope to bring you some #NewJoy by sharing my story. I challenge you to think of what makes you happy in life and keep being #strongwomen especially if you have entered a transition phase of your life. This is even more important as I watch my own daughter grow up and hope she does not suffer the same issues I faced.
In summary,
#believeinyourself❤️ #loveyourbody and #bekind 🤗😊❤️🩹
Goal digger podcast! Available on Apple Podcasts. Inspiration for this blog piece.
Spring cleaning tips.
I would argue that spring cleaning should not be exclusive to spring. I quite often have a thorough clean/ clear out ahead of hosting guests around Christmas. The same ritual applies after a major event or end of project ( relating to computer/ paperwork and desktop clutter). My company expects a clear desk policy – meaning the employee is expected to clear desks and clean at end of the day. This is fair with hot desks/ sharing office spaces. It is not enforced at home and I try to keep my workspace as clutter free/ organised as possible.
I recently listened to an uplifting podcast which discusses the need for spring cleaning our lives ( wardrobe, endless lists, administration). We hold on to things out of guilt, habit or Fear of Missing Out (FOMO).
….
So what are you holding onto?
Keeping out of guilt, habit or FOMO?
Wardrobe advice
Keep a staple wardrobe with versatile essentials, timeless outfits, and accessories. Pay a little more for longevity and use sustainable fashion companies (where possible)
Donate to local charities or resell on vinted or eBay( fashion blog advice).
Alexa Chung recently had a clear out and was able to donate proceeds to Endometriosis UK. This article stood out for me as a long time endometriosis sufferer and a fashion lover. Thanks to Alexa for supporting #endometriosisUK
Books – no longer needed / give a second life? Someone else may love it 🥰
Other items – furniture? Bric a brac? Ornaments? No longer like / need? donate or up cycle of furniture.. Giving a chair a new life is better than wasting it.
My husband lets me have a memory box, so I don’t keep everything. Keep special memories / gifts. I used to be a little bit of a hoarder but I have reformed.
No more keeping hundreds of birthday cards in case I offend someone. Just a box of special cards/ photographs.
Paper and packaging – no need to keep. Gift bags are useful to reuse…but not old/ ripped paper.
One of my earliest relationship memories was him helping me move out of student halls and he was frustrated I had so many pretty boxes from old gifts/ receipts and cards… He said to me if you do not know what it’s for… get rid of it. He was correct. Now I try and teach our daughter the same when she asks to keep gift tags, paper…boxes (any box)…bags.
I sent away old baby clothes and blankets were created from them. I kept her first dress but most donated to good causes and local baby banks.
Create a Burn list:
What is holding you back in life?
Health?
Career?
Unmade decisions…?
Unread emails?
Ask why yourself why have you not read these? Do you need it? Guilt of not subscribing or FOMO. No, delete.
Delegate tasks. Useful for reducing your stress and project management skills.
Turn off unnecessary notifications. I mute my phone during meetings and only look at lunchtime when I’m in office.
……..
Throw away packaging / reuse and recycle.
Important for environmental sustainability and decluttering.
After the PhD, I had to recycle so many paper copies of journals, and old chapter edits. It felt liberating to draw a line and say goodbye. Why hold on to each edit – once you have the finished product?
Better for the environment. If you don’t re read it…why keep it. No one wants to look at manuscripts/ commentaries with red pen. 🖊️ These are helpful at the time but not 10 years on…
…….
The same is true of your work and home IT equipment.
Desk top clutter – tidy your desk top regularly. Never easy to navigate lots of random folders. Keep it simple. Never fun when someone shares screen to see a messy desktop.
Google chrome – save links in folders. Great for saving projects / quick access to SharePoint folders etc.
Outlook – colour code emails/ calendars and catalogue.
Screenshots / only keep those needed – I am bad for this, but delete those you no longer need. Same for sticky notes.
Photographs – digital images take up so much space. Review and keep those which matter. Maybe print off your favourites and have a book / album.
Positive vibes and energy are needed for recovery. I could not have gone through the journey without positivity. I am told I sometimes have too much faith in humanity…I possibly do, but faith is what grounds me.
Faith:
Reminds me of the Bon Jovi song – Keep the Faith. Great artist and one of my favourite songs.
The chorus is particularly uplifting. When life gets hard you have to keep upbeat and this is my message through all of my blog articles and poems. As I said previously we all face adversity, it’s how we handle it that makes us stronger and adaptable (resilient). Without faith, we would find it hard to believe things will improve and that we can make progress towards our goals.
Let’s look at the lyrics:
[Chorus]
(Faith) You know you’re gonna live through the rain
Lord, we’ve gotta keep the faith
(Faith) Don’t you let your love turn to hate
Now we’ve gotta keep the faith
[Post-Chorus]
Keep the faith
Keep the faith
Lord, we’ve gotta keep the faith
….
Changing the life one random act of kindness at a time:
Think of kindness you can share. Sometimes on walks I have found notes of kindness and compassion left by others.
There is an elderly person (in our village) who knits small pixies and other small woollen gifts for children to find and keep. I have found two for our daughter. A pixie when I was pregnant (on a tree like this one), and a butterfly 🦋 when we moved in to our current house (first pond walk with my daughter).
Image credit – Erskine Garden.
During lockdown people left notes of kindness and the local primary school created an art (rainbow coloured) snake to show their gratitude to our emergency and health services.
It’s little acts of random kindness which brighten up your life.
My daughter was given a rock from a friend and she painted it with her rainbow colour paint pens, and gave it back to the little girl. Both were delighted and hugged to say thank you, and looked forward to seeing one another at nursery. If only more people were like the elderly lady , or my daughter and her friend… or the primary school children.
Each act of kindness allows me to have faith in humanity.
Think of how you can be kind and surprise a loved one or stranger with a small token of appreciation.
I have been practicing yoga on and off for years. More so since lockdown as a way to focus on the breath/ reduce stress and build stamina and body confidence.
I am sure some women are sick of people saying it’s great for managing endometriosis or adenomyosis pain… I find it useful but in moderation. Like all exercise/ anything with a chronic illness know your limits.
…
It only works when you are able to bend. If you are in moderate/ severe pain you should consult a medical professional before starting an exercise routine.
So why write this?
For the last 18 months, I was in so much pain that I couldn’t bend or sit in a position to allow me to do my yoga. This was a red flag and I knew my health had not only deteriorated but something else was happening to prevent me from practicing even simple stretches.
I found a few poses which really helped post endometriosis surgery.
Important to release the back/ spinal and pelvic areas.
Note not a yoga instructor so some exercises may not be suitable for you. Go with the flow.
Poses:
Cat cow- great for releasing spine/ Lower back and reducing pain. Your muscles and body will ache after surgery.
Cobra – opening chest and strengthening back. Opens shoulder blades, neck and collar bones.
The child’s pose – feels like sitting on a fluffy white cloud. Releases the hips and thighs. Reduces pressure (and pain) in the lower back.
Legs up the wall- reduces inflammation and improves circulation. Known as a calming pose.
Thread the needle- this pose is great. Gentle and effective for pressure in the spine. I felt great after doing this the other day.
Spinal twist – opens chest, and brings awareness to diaphragm breathing. Helps with digestion.
…
There are many ways to practice yoga. I prefer online so I can go at my own pace and not feel embarrassed if I fall over (true story). It also means I don’t have to stand on my head (never liked it).
You can watch videos online/ use an instructor led programme or course or similar.
My review of Apple fitness:
I prefer Apple fitness videos, as these can be adapted for different conditions/ intensities. The friendly instructors and music provide the perfect blend for a workout. Jessica is one of my favourite instructors. There is a function to allow you to screen share on your tv screen – making it easier than a regular phone/ MacBook. You can even involve your family (if you desire). My daughter is keen to learn yoga but I will teach her once I feel more confident again.
There are two styles of routine: slow flow and energetic. Post surgery I would suggest keeping it light and practicing short routines. Bursts of 10 – 20 minutes and build up as you get more confident/ energy and stamina back. This worked post hysterectomy and hopefully works this time too.
Only you know your body- so do not force yourself to do a position if it’s sore.
Always use your breath. Builds confidence and endurance. You eventually stop stumbling and leave your routine feeling soooo relaxed.
Also – if you are in too much pain, I would recommend reduce the intensity and length of routine. A few gentle stretches and breathing exercises may be all you can do. I had to stop and watch some of the exercises (in between); as I realised I had done too much.
Top tips:
Do a cool down after each workout. Your muscles will thank you later. I skipped one once and I was worse off the next day.
If you feel comfortable, do not wear socks. You can buy yoga shoes or socks but not essential.
Wear loose clothes. No jeans.
Have water nearby and feel free to pause even mid routine. The benefit of online classes.
Future:
Will get into more energetic routines as I recover again. At one point I was practicing yoga twice a day (post hysterectomy) when combined with meditation and gratitude practices this is a lot of healthy (zen) me time.
My new yoga mat will help support in this. It’s soft and comfortable. Like no other mat I have owned. #sweatybetty
I loved doing the artist themed workouts. The music focuses on key artists like Ed Sheeran, Shania Twain, Queen.
Great music helps you prolong your exercise. You do not realise that you are working out/ the intensity sometimes. Just remember the cool down routines.
So, I am 1 in 10%. I have endometriosis. There is no cure.
But to add complications I also had adenomyosis (more about this below as I document my health journey).
I have chosen the name sunflower diaries for my blog to symbolise #endometriosis. The sunflower is synonymous with growth, vitality and positive energy. I also love #sunflowers.
I am an #endometriosiswarrior and an #adenomyosiswarrior💜.
Let’s raise awareness and compassion for all women afflicted by these diseases. The struggles are real but I hope to bring you some #NewJoy by sharing my story. I challenge you to think of what makes you happy in life and keep being #strongwomen especially if you have entered a transition phase of your life. This is even more important as I watch my own daughter grow up and hope she does not suffer the same issues I faced.
In summary,
#believeinyourself❤️ #loveyourbody and #bekind 🤗😊❤️🩹
If you like this blog, please read and share. Follow me on Instagram- Joy_Kean86.
Link to previous blog article focusing on sustainable water use.
I am very passionate about water and the environment. I even featured in the CIWEM Environment article earlier this year discussing my passion for urban drainage/ career.
I embed these sustainability principles daily (refuse, reduce, reuse, repair and recycle). I try to encourage our daughter to do the same. Reducing the need for unnecessary waste. We even used #littlelamb nappies (reusable) to reduce our carbon footprint. By reducing our waste to landfill. I also found a new home for them at a local baby charity.
CIWEM article – Spring 2025
A couple of nights ago my daughter brought home a book (from the library) called Clean Up (Nathan Bryon), which was a story about a little girl who is very principled and cleaned up the beach (on holiday) after finding a 🐢 turtle trapped in plastic (ocean plastic washed up on the beach). Teaching children about plastic pollution and how little acts of kindness make a difference.
It was a lovely story and she enjoyed asking me questions about it.
Forever grateful for nature and its benefits. Especially as I go through this healing journey.
As I walk by a pond, I can’t help but wonder who designed it and whether it showcases its potential.
Give nature a home.
I guess that’s where my passion for the environment shines through. Expression through public engagement, poetry, (occasionally) artwork, and writing.
I wanted to share this poem with everyone. I wrote it yesterday thinking of my recovery and the impact this has had on my career so far.
My commitment to ducks 🦆 is long standing. During my research I did a comedy sketch at the Bright Club, focussing on the issues with over feeding in terms of water quality. This was by far the bravest thing I did during the PhD. It was nice to collaborate with other academics and bring a light hearted touch to the serious discussions behind our work.
Disclaimer: Not a Doctor. If any concerns, please contact a medical professional
My journey with HRT.
Entering menopause at any age is filled with trepidation and uncertainty – you feel older, your biological system is entering a phase of quiescence. I guess for me, it felt the same and when I was weighing up the pros and cons of additional surgery. I eventually came to realise that surgical menopause and HRT was the practical solution. I had limited success in managing my pain and essentially no quality of life. I could not look after my daughter without support. I went from walking miles to barely walking.
Finding myself home more than out. I found every day tasks difficult and exhausting- I was out of breath having a shower or bath. Things needed to change, and quickly…
When the consultant discussed HRT with me I had many questions/ did some of my own research. I thought I would share some links to assist. I now have to take oestrogen until I reach the age of natural menopause.
I missed being me and being my happy self. I am sure those I work and live with feel the same. I could go from happy to tearful in a few minutes.
The first couple of weeks were extremely challenging and tiring. I wasn’t sure if it was all recovery related – but I was finding myself in rooms not knowing why I entered them- or post operative issues (aside from infection). My daughter (who is 4) was finishing my sentences. I felt a bit like an old person asking for things to be repeated more/ forgetting simple things like medication; (and before the operation I was writing everything down but able to retain better). Confused and weepy, at times. I was a bit of a mess.
My consultant suggested that I increased my dose of HRT. I have been on the new dose (for about a week…so it’s early days) but I feel like my mental state is getting better. I am remembering things or why I am in a room. #Small wins. (I used to have a very powerful memory and could remember old phone numbers, bank details, complicated passwords, song lyrics etc.)
My poor husband probably told me things over and over again the last few months (worse so after surgery), and my retention was so low, I forgot mid sentence what I was thinking. Hopefully short lived.
It’s one of many possible side effects of surgical menopause and hormone imbalance.
Not great when you’re recovering from surgery/ trying to explain symptoms to a Doctor… or anyone how you feel. At least the consultant was very understanding. He advised me to take the medium or strongest dose and see how that works with my fatigue, brain fog etc.
I am an #endometriosiswarrior and an #adenomyosiswarrior💜.
Let’s raise awareness and compassion for all women afflicted by these diseases. The struggles are real but I hope to bring you some #NewJoy by sharing my story. I challenge you to think of what makes you happy in life and keep being #strongwomen especially if you have entered a transition phase of your life. This is even more important as I watch my own daughter grow up and hope she does not suffer the same issues I faced.
In summary,
Take care of yourself.
#believeinyourself❤️ #loveyourbody and #bekind 🤗😊❤️🩹
If you like this blog, please read and share or follow me on Instagram- Joy_Kean86.
I do believe in God. Believing science and God can coexist. Not wanting to enter an evolution debate…
I have not gone to church weekly for a long time. I was put off by how devoted my father was and almost at expense of other things in his life. His choice and he found inner peace. Something I have never written down. We had our differences but I have always respected his commitment in this regard.
I do still pray, meditate and practice gratitude every day. I also leave the choice to our daughter and if she wants to join a church one day, I would not stop her.
Sunflower Diaries 